This is a work of fiction, created by a human for other humans, but feel free to read it to your dog, cat, gold fish or other animal companion.

The characters, events, and scenes in the work are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously.

Dedication

This work is dedicated to a couple inspiring drummers that we lost.

Their beats go in. Their legacies are in the lives they touched.

Introduction

This story has side quests. They are unnecessary.

Speed run blazing directly from start to finish and ignore the side quests if you wish.

Choose a couple of side quests for characters or plot backstories if you prefer a leisurely stroll through the adventure.

Or read all the side quests and explore every room in the dungeon of this plot.

@plot_experiments@bookstodon.com

#PlotExperiments #PodLife #LSMB #AIuseforbidden #noAI

// All AI use strictly prohibited

The sixty minute warning buzzes.

Klack, klack, klack.

Erich gets out of bed. He does a few stretches and some knee bends to get the blood flowing.

Klack, klack, klack.

The steady rhythm of traveling over the tracks had induced yet another nap. He missed a lot of beautiful Canadian forest scenery.

Erich inhales a deep breath through his nose and holds it. The lingering smell of the forest had been filtered away while he slept. No nature scents remain, just sanitized air and the metallic aroma of the train.

He lets the breath out. At least there will be hiking tomorrow.

Klack, klack, klack.

After a quick pee break he makes a pot of maple tea for the final leg of the journey. A pinch of lavender from the greenhouse adds a light floral touch.

Erich turns on cabin noise dampening to block out most of the train noise.

While drinking his tea he makes toast with butter and jam as a snack. Now his container pod has a nice breakfast aroma. Erich smiles.

He sets the tea kettle on the locking magnetic holder, so it won't shift during transit. He makes a smoothie with some yogurt and the last of yesterday's greenhouse harvest: strawberries, blackberries, dragon fruit, mint, carrots, beets, kale, and various lettuce leaves. He includes a little protein powder to add some longer-term satiety.

The damp chair's beverage unit will keep it cold for him just as it will keep the tea warm.

He places the smoothie cup in the magnetic receptacle as the train moves on.

He settles into his new, more comfortable damp chair. Straps automatically tie down his legs and hips after his body weight hits the seat. Erich extends and adjusts the chest strap. Totally unnecessary to do by hand, but it's reassuring. Once it's tight he sets the padded strap for his forehead and tightens it as well.

Train cars are seldom dropped by the transfer drones, but you don't want to fly around in one if it is dropped.

He sets up his drinking straws and puts his tablet in place for some light reading. He places his arms on the armrests making sure he can reach the releases then triggers the arm straps as well.

All strapped in he engages the dampening.

Erich's chair raises several centimeters and levels with gravity rather the train car. Now riding on magnetic waves he no longer feels the movement of the train whatsoever. A dome on the chair blurs out visual references.

Transferring his container from long rail to city rail shouldn't be bad. The long haul rail will make sure it's a smooth transfer. It's city rail transfers that incentivized him to finally upgrade the damp chair.

Automated transfer from city rail to hail-a-chassis and the robot driving are not the gentlest of operations. Unfortunately the huge ride hailing companies killed off the good local services, so now it's unsteady automated systems or nothing.

The final hotel transfer should be fine, but the city street driving always has tons of sudden momentum changes. In the chair he mostly just sinks into the seat a bit once in a while.

Time for some mood music. He kicks on some Max Webster and continues with the book he's been reading.

Yes Merry, they come in pints.

Best to read about Ringwraiths stabbing into beds while safe in a locked room where he controls security. Aside from train wrecks or huge explosions no need to worry about safety in his own container.

His pod is locked to the train car multiple ways, so he doesn't even have to worry about someone snatching the pod mid-trip like in some action movie.

After about twenty minutes of relaxing reading Erich switches to conference proceedings. Bye my furry-footed friends, we'll continue on the way back home as I too will return from a journey in the mountains.

Next up is conference prep. What's on this year's schedule? The astrophysicists always have cool new stuff.

Hmm, here's one from a mathematician. Ooh, math for detecting transit in gravitational lensing. That's gonna be fun. Pretty pictures of equations and also space eye candy.

Craig has a talk about the characteristics of the new alloys he's experimenting with. Erich will ask about those after the talk.

There's also this year's bad math in the news. It's always funny, but the topic is so depressing. If the math is wrong, then everything built on it is wrong.

Erich chuckles thinking about last week's corporate messaging platform encryption hullaballoo. If it isn't open to review, then it can't be considered secure and they sure proved that axiom with their bad math. Wonder how many private messages and transactions the Americans and Russians are sifting through this week.

He grins to himself, “None of mine since some friends keep me on the right track.”

A small ding informs Erich that they've arrived at the train station.

As he reads the gravitational lensing paper he barely notices the second chime to let him know he and his container have been picked up and moved from the heavy rail car to a city light rail car.

If he hadn't been concentrating on the full view screen to read the paper he would have noticed the room rolling and shaking about him during the move. The damp chair kept him from feeling any of it.

He finishes his smoothie. Down to tea and whatever's in the damp chair coolbox for the duration.

The penultimate alert comes as his container is moved to a rental chassis for transport to the hotel suite. The container around his chair shakes and jolts, it strains the tie downs in one direction, then another. Can't use magnetic locks on the hail-a-chassis transport trucks.

The transport company trained the robot controllers on the worst taxi drivers. Thanks to his damp chair he doesn't need to remind himself it's only a couple blocks in light traffic.

Erich will be fine. Not only is he in a shipping container, but his is an ultra-strong titanium alloy. That's why he likes riding the rails, he has a very safe mobile mini-apartment.

Train is much cheaper than flying since oil prices got as high as commercial aircraft. It also gives him time to charge his social batteries before the conference.

A deeper toned bong lets him know he's arrived at the hotel. Max Webster is almost done, so good timing for the music.

Definitely going to have dinner with Craig to ask about the new materials. Rigid without brittleness and with only 90% of the weight of what Erich is using now. Just research, so not ready for use, but maybe he can start testing with it next year.

Erich's project can also help fund Craig to keep the research going if it looks promising. he could really use a boost right now, but might not want the commitment of extra work. Erich hopes Craig is OK, but knows he isn't.

A disembodied voice tells Erich he's now attached to his hotel suite and welcomes him to Vancouver.

Vancouver Afternoon

// All AI use strictly prohibited

Now that his container is sealed to his hotel suite Erich executes the preliminary safety checks. His container reports a good anchor and a secure seal. He triggers the hotel's suite wall to open and surveys suite with his pod's external cameras.

Next he hooks up to the suite's control center and verifies its public key matches what was given in the booking confirmation. His security automation scans the room.

His console indicates all clear, so he moves his suitcases to the container's outer hall and closes his cabin door behind him. When in suite mode the internal cabin locks automatically.

Upon opening his pod's external door he is greeted with the smells of orange blossoms and cardamom from the hotel suite. That's pleasant but rather incongruent with Canadian Winter. He takes his main suitcase into the suite and closes the container door.

It takes just a few minutes to empty the suitcase, placing the contents in drawers or on the bathroom counter. Same room as last year. Erich is glad to see there are some upgrades.

He has the afternoon to visit Vancouver before meeting up with friends tomorrow for pre-conference activities. He'll also see the hotel manager this evening, so no need to delay getting out into town now. Staying low key now will help him avoid people and continue charging his social batteries.

He slips on his overcoat and grabs his hat. Erich leaves the hotel via a side exit, putting his hat on as he steps outside.

It's cloudy today. The shoreward wind is wet and salty. Even in early afternoon the wind is a bit biting, but he leaves the coat open anyway as it's relatively warm compared to Toronto.

He keeps his hat on to avoid recognition as he enters the bubble tea place next to the hotel. The café tempts him with sweet air from the pastries, but a mango boba suffices.

Erich keeps trying to grow mango in his greenhouse, but building a tropical rainforest in Canada is a bit much for a hobby project. At least he's figured out how to string dragon fruit cactus arms and that grows well enough.

Cold drink in hand, Erich walks up Burard St. to Pender, then takes the 19 towards Stanley Park. He gets off early at Denman and taps his hat at the lady on the park bench. All these years in and she's still searching her purse.

He drops his empty boba cup into the recycle bin next to her then heads uphill past all the bike rental shops to the Ukrainian restaurant. Pirogies are little gifts for the soul and the cabbage rolls are a gift to his stomache. Both are fantastic for his taste buds.

After a small, yeah right, plate Erich heads back down Denman to Georgia Street and then left into the park. He tips his hat again at the purse search statue.

There's a wide sidewalk leading into Stanley Park. Erich enjoys the view up the bay on the way to the peninsula. The park has many tree lined trails. It also has several flower gardens. The shoreline on the far side looks across the bay.

Stanley Park's trails are also great for runs and biking, but today he just needs some walking. Traveling by pod is great, but you don't get to move much.

Erich hasn't walked all the paths in the several years he's been visiting. He hasn't even made to to both lakes. This afternoon He sticks to trails in the trees for an hour.

When it's time for a break he heads for the shore. At a bench, he stops and sits to watch the seagulls enjoying the winds. He can also see the seaplanes taking off and landing. Tourists are getting a new experience.

The gossiping ducks override almost all sounds except departing sea aircraft. He closes his coat as he sits in the chill shore wind.

Erich wonders how Craig is doing and thinks, “I need to check in on him today.”

Erich gets up and follows the shoreline for a bit before taking a path back up into the trees. He makes his way to the park club house where he can use the bathroom. Then, he walks the last few dozen meters to the bus stop.

It's the 19 bus again back towards the Gas District. After exiting the bus he walks down to Canada Place and watches tourists for a few minutes before heading back into the hotel to unofficially, but not completely reluctantly rejoin society.

Inside the hotel, he sees Craig sitting alone at the café. Erich waves and heads over to join him.

Hugs, then Erich asks how Craig is doing.

“Doing OK,” Craig pauses, “Losing Sam was hard.”

Erich nods.

Craig says, “So much of that going around.”

“Yeah”, Erich frowns.

Craig shakes his head, “The restaurant swore they didn't use US supplies, but one of the providers was taking bribes to slip Sewer Industries greens into the shipments.”

Erich, “So stupid that they stayed with the autocorrect spelling of s-e-w rather than s-o-w.”

Craig, “Well, Parable of the Sower Industries is also quite on the nose for what they're bringing about down there.”

Erich laughs despite himself, “True, a self-own whichever way they went.”

Craig says, “Yeah, but it's hard to keep a sense of humour when your spouse's dinner commits murder and it becomes an international incident.”

Erich nods once more. What do you say when confronted with such an incident?

Craig quietly rants, “The cheap assholes who bought the black market infected lettuce, the greedy fuckers who smuggled in the taint of the week and the cob-licking rat-bastards who mismanage that farm are collective murderers.”

Erich winces, but says, “Cob-licking is safe, corn grows above the water line.”

Craig retorts with, “Yeah, you're right. They should have to lick their own lettuce instead!”

Craig shakes his head, “Man, 'The sous chef in the dining room with the salad.' just doesn't make sense. I mean, cabbage maybe. A head of cabbage has some heft, you can do damage with that.”

Erich smirks, “You've still got your sense of humour.”

Craig says, “Guess it's built in.”

Erich, “Yup, you're still Canadian, eh?”

Craig gives a tired smile, “By choice no less.”

Erich retorts, “Well, see you've been smart since you were three.”

Craig smiles, grimaces and frowns, then settles on a wan smile.

Craig shrugs his shoulders, “Well, we've got 5 days of geekdom, so let's ignore reality except the maths and physics.”

Erich nods, “An anti-Hollywood affair it is.”

Erich asks, “You up for tom-”

The hotel manager walks up to talk to Erich. Erich turns to Merideth and Craig says he needs to get back over to conference setup. Volunteers run the conference now so they can reject counter-scientific nonsense from sponsors.

Merideth says “Hey Erich nice to have you back. Um, sorry about interrupting.”

Erich says, “It's OK. He was only on a short break.”

Merideth responds, “Ah. So, how is the room? Did we get it setup the way you wanted?”

Erich says, “Haven't given it a thorough check, but the docking and check-in ran like I suggested.”

Merideth, “Good.”

Erich, “Thanks for adding upgrades I asked for!”

Merideth smiles, “Hey, thanks for your advice! We now have the best pod suites in the province.”

Erich grins, “On the continent.”

Merideth's eyes widen, “Really?”

Erich nods vigorously, “Yup”

Merideth's face lights up, “Cool, going to update some promo materials!”

Merideth, “By the way, how do you know all this security stuff? Aren't you a physicist?”

Erich shrugs, “I did computer security in college. More relavantly, friends of mine are still in security.”

Merideth, “Ah.”

Erich says, “You're the first to make a real go at implementing their suggestions.”

Merideth says, “You made a compelling case and it's paying off.”

Erich cocks his head, “Oh?”

Merideth nods, “Yeah, the pod suites booked out an entire year the week we made them available.”

Erich “Cool.”

Erich gives Merideth a skeptical look, “Wait, if they were booked a year out, how did I get one?”

Merideth responds, “The week of your conference we reserved both suites for you.”

Erich mentions, “I only need one.”

Merideth, “You really drove home the lesson about high availability, we kept the second room back for you in case there's a problem with the first. Technically it's waiting for an inspection,” Merideth shrugs, “but for some reason the inspector is on vacation this week.”

Erich laughs, “You are learning from us!”.

Merideth cracks a knowing smile, “Yup.”

“But there are limits,” Merideth frowns, “corp wont let me comp you your room, so we invented some new discounts to get it pretty close.”

Erich puts up a hand to waive that off, “No need, the security is worth more than the money, besides work pays for the room.”

Merideth responds, “Well work is essentially your own company, so it's your money.”

Erich shakes him head, “Not quite, but I do have some influence on how profits are used.”

Merideth beams, “We also started permitting for approval to add two more pod suites.”

Erich looks surprised, “Really? That's gotta be expensive! Especially since you can't have yet paid for the first two conversions.”

Merideth nods, “True, but they're selling and we want to establish ourselves as the premier hotel for pod suites before other hotels start adding them.”

“We're also working on partnerships with the cruise lines. They love it because we can make it much easier for them to get passengers on and off. Saving them time and effort on that is pure Yukon gold.”

Erich laughs.

Merideth smirks, “Heck, Canada rail says they've seen a slight uptick in pod tickets since we announced the suites, so they're talking to us as well.”

Erich smiles, “Give people what they want and they might actually pay for it.”

Merideth nods, “Yeah! Customer service FTW.”

Merideth says, “Look, I need to get going, but check the welcome packet for some very exclusive area discounts, including on your boba this morning.”

Erich does a double-take, “You're helping Yvgeni?”

Merideth holds up a finger in front of her lips, “Sssh, he's supposed to go out of business and have to beg for his job back!”

Erich cackles, “Ha! I wish he could do both!”

Merideth winks and walks away saying, “Gotta get back to day and night job, please let me know directly if you have any feedback.”

Erich waves goodbye and heads up to his suite to call the family.

Once in the room he checks the security logs. Nothing of note, so he does some more container unloading.

He places his hand on a pad next the container door for a hand scan, then when pushing the pod's outer door a contactless key from his ring lets him open it. Once inside the outer chamber a PIN unlocks the inner door.

He disconnects his short fridge from its magnetic coupling and wheels it in to the suite.

He finds the magnetic coupling in the suite where he'd recommended they buid it and verifies electricity is working after hooking up the fridge.

It won't be expensive to use the mini bar in his room.

His nice cutlery and pans can wait until Monday as he and his friends make a communal brunch before heading their separate ways.

He brings out a couple suits and puts them in the room's stand up closet.

Finally he grabs his day bag and outfit for tomorrow.

He closes his pod for the night.

He grabs a band themed golden ale from a Toronto brewer out of his fridge and heads to the bedroom balcony.

The kids like to watch the seagulls flying in the background when he calls in from Vancouver.

Group Hike

// All AI use strictly prohibited

Erich rises early for the geek hike.

The hotel breakfast nook smells like waffles, bacon, toast and eggs. He gathers a quick breakfast in the hotel café: a waffle with maple syrup ( brought his own better quality maple syrup thank you very much ), some scrambled eggs and a tea.

He fills a thermos with hot water and drops in a couple tea bags. That'll be nice and strong for the hike.

As he's eating Erich sees the annual conference brought science week back to the hotel. The TV is tuned to a science channel, rather than some scaremongering news station. Today's coverage has updates on findings from several telescopes. It's good that some countries are still funding that work.

Astronomy pictures make for great eye candy that even non-scientists can enjoy.

He finishes breakfast with a banana, then grabs two apples, an orange and a bagel for the trip. Craig always forgets to bring snacks, then complains of being famished.

Back in the room he grabs his hiking backpack. It's main compartment already has some sports bars, a change of undergarments and three flashlights: red light, UV and normal. It also has an emergency pack including a couple solar blankets, a fire starter and a first aid kid. Another pocket gets a spare battery and a couple cables for charging whatever might need charging.

Erich puts a book along with a paper map of the area they'll be hiking into a waterproof bag. There's a back panel on the backpack, the waterproof bag and it's weight goes there, so they'll be up against his back.

A bottle of water is on one side pocket and the thermos of tea goes in the other. The bottom compartment has a rain poncho with various pieces of rope and string to keep it company.

The umbrella goes on the top ready for quick draw. Erich can reach back, grab the brella and have it open above himself in a couple seconds. Getting soaked with cold winter rain is no fun.

He carries a multi-tool on his belt and has a compass attached to one of the backpack straps.

Back down in the lobby he finds Craig talking to a thin, pale woman Erich doesn't know. She looks to be at least a decade younger than they are.

DQ will likely be down momentarily, always being almost, but not quite, late. Emily will be last because she's got a video call with her kids before she can come down. It's her ride, so the rest will wait for her.

Erich approaches the pair and they wave. Craig introduces Erich to Marina.

Erich says hi.

Craig says Marina is up from the states. They a couple days ago as they both came in early to help with conference setup.

It takes a lot of work to prep for crowds of science nerds enthusiastically geeking out. The conference center workers move everything in and get the infrastructure in place, but the volunteers setup the displays and science experiments.

She really liked Craig's stories of hikes from years past, so he invited her.

Erich frowns at Craig, “You know you're supposed to run it by the committee first”

Craig stares at Erich, Marina starts to say something.

Erich continues, “We only allow peer-reviewed entries for our hikes.” then smiles and turns to Marina, “Just pulling his chain. Welcome to the gaggle of misfits.”

Marina laughs. Craig pretends to scowl at Erich, then also laughs.

Craig “Told you, we're just a bunch of science geeks right down to our humour.”

Erich “Or lack thereof.”

Craig “No, we definitely have a sense of humour, but it's often a form the non-geeks don't recognize.”

Marina “It's like life on other planets, they can only see forms of humour they already know.”

Erich nods, “Exactly.”

A wave of sparkle and brightness approaches the three from the elevator.

Erich calls out, “Hey DQ, looking fabulous as always.”

Craig shakes his head, “You'll never make it as an undercover agent.”

DQ laughs in a falsetto and says, “Oh, I go undercover all right. I fall asleep reading fashion mags all the time.” DQ is several years younger than Erich and Craig by age, but decades younger in passion, the love of life and the desire to make an entrance.

DQ continues, “Now who is this lovely specimen? Have we determined where she fits in the geek taxonomy?”

Marina blushes.

Craig points at DQ, “She's our exobiologist, which is why she's always dressed so offworldly,”

DQ curtsies, “You flatter me.”

DQ steps over and pulls Erich in for a hug.

After embracing for a moment Erich says he's suffocating in taffeta.

DQ jokes that it's a lovely way to go.

Craig draws a sharp breath.

DQ turns to Craig in shock.

“Oh, honey! I am so sorry, I didn't think,” exclaims DQ as she disengages Erich and quickly envelops Craig in a tight, full body hug being careful to keep his head uncovered.

Craig embraces DQ and cries just a fights back some tears before he can say it's OK.

They hug as DQ holds Craig tight almost swaddling him with her dress. Craig sobs a few moments, then starts taking deep breaths to calm down.

Erich leans over to Marina, “DQ hugs are recuperative. They are warm, comforting, calming. They're an essential part of the Canadian healthcare system.”

DQ sways back and forth while holding onto Craig, then slowly releases him. DQ stares into Craig's eyes, “I'm sorry about being insensitive.”

Craig nods, then stammers, “I-i-it's OK. I n-n-needed that more”, he pauses to take a breath as his eyes well up, “more than I realized.”

As Craig steps back from DQ his hair stands up.

Erich, “See, DQ hugs give you energy. We think DQ hides a static energy generator somewhere in her outfits.”

DQ says, “It's the layers.”

Erich shakes his head, “Definitely more than that.”

DQ jokes that she won't divulge any secrets, but her dress does have a USB-C port.

DQ beckons Marina and gives her a welcome hug.

After the hug Marina stands still for a moment a little shaken as she looks down at the ground, then takes a deep breath and looks up to DQ to say, “Thank you, that really did feel good.”

Erich, Craig and Marina all have hair sticking up.

Craig points and giggles at Erich and Marina, then touches the back of Erich's hand with the resounding zap of static electricity. Erich yanks his hand back too late, winces, then shakes it off.

The elevator dings, they all look over. Emily rushes out and hurries to join the group. She starts to apologize for being late, but Erich says, “No need to apologize, how's the family?”

Emily says they're great. Partner is doing better as lone parent this year, the kids even got breakfast before leaving for school.

Craig laughs, “Glad to see the training is finally taking.”

Emily shoots him a look and turning to Marina says, “My partner usually works nights and only switches to daytimes a couple times a year as I go to a conference or we go on vacation.”

DQ says, “Honey, we all love him and are grateful he switches from the heavens to earth, so you can join us for a few days. Now let's hop in that magnificent ride of yours and explore this section of the galaxy!”

“First some coffee,” says Emily.

“Ooh, yes girl, good idea,” DQ concurs.

DQ gives Emily a revitalizing pre-caffiene hug, then they turn towards the breakfast area. Emily holds out her arm, DQ takes it, they saunter off as Emily sings something that mentions daybreak. DQ hums along in accompanyment.

Marina asks the other two if Emily has experience driving.

Craig responds, “Yeah, she's been driving since before she could reach the pedals on the tractor.”

Marina looks at him in disbelief, “Really?”

Craig nods, “Absolutely, they gave her platform boots and a periscope so she could reach the pedals and see over the dash as she helped her grandparents on their farm.”

Marina looks dubious.

Erich concurs, “No, really, they did. It explains a lot about some of her interests.”

Still dubious Marina asks, “Really, a kid?”

Craig nods again, “Yup, initially she just drove the wagon on the fields that had already been harvested. They'd start before sunrise, so while she was waiting for them to come load the wagon she could have her telescope out for some stargazing. That was the deal. Drive responsibly and use the telescope or stay back at the farmhouse and feed the animals.”

Erich chimes in, “She says animals are cute, but stars are magnificent. She also learned to repair the tractor because right to repair was finally legalized when she was an early teen.”

Craig jumps back in, “She maintains the car we're taking today. Heck, she put in a new transmission over the Summer.”

Erich smirks, “She also juiced the car's computer.”

Craig grimaces, “Nuts, I forgot my neck brace!”

Erich laughs, then says to Marina, “We named her car Whiplash.”

Marina gets big eyes, “Oh.”

Craig laughs, “No worries, both car and driver are perfectly safe.”

Marina says, “But she looks the same age as my younger sister and no one our age drives in the US, much less owns a car. Since the techbros tanked the US economy no one can afford a car. The big 3 combined to make the rather small 1, the foreign companies closed their US plants and Americans can't afford to buy something imported.”

Craig frowns, “That bad?”

Marina nods, “Not just for cars, for everything. Even though the tariffs finally got removed it was too late. The tariffs had done their intended damage and destroyed the value of the US dollar.”

Marina's head shakes, “Now, even those who get a car from their parents can't afford the gas. Only billionaires can afford cars or gas, mostly because they had money in other countries. They don't drive because they have foreign drivers.”

Craig sputters, “Foreign drivers?”

Marina responds, “Yeah, with the current economy they don't trust US residents to not be bribable, so they hire drivers from countries that are still doing well.”

Erich snarks, “Or from dictators that control the techbros.”

Marina sighs, “Yeah, that too.”

Emily and DQ walk past with travel cups of black gold in hand. They head out to the parking lots, the other three follow them out.

The car is a wide old diesel as they can still get diesel on the farm. The paint job is faded and there are dents in several locations.

Emily takes the driver seat. DQ takes the passenger seat, ostensibly to make room for her frills, but really so she can control the radio.

Showtunes again this year.

Craig hops in the middle in the back with room for Erich and Marina on either side of him.

As DQ closes the passenger door Marina notices graffiti on it. Someone used a spraycan with sparkling pink to write “DQ was here” and draw a tiara over it.

Once on the road the music starts.

Emily sings along and has a wonderful voice. Her grandparents taught her how to play a fiddle and sing during long nights on the farm.

Everyone else sings just loud enough to mostly drown out everyone else's mumbled bad singing. DQ practices miming and emoting, but Emily says it's too much of a distraction for the driver.

After an hour and songs from several musicals they arrive at the trailhead. Emily parks and they all get out.

DQ sheds her outer layers to reveal a thin, tight jumpsuit wholly inadequate to Winter cold in the mountains. She quickly dons a bright yellow cold weather jumpsuit that obviously had several hot dates with a bedazzler.

Erich muses, “And the iridescence metamorphizes back into a strikingly handsome caterpillar. What are you looking for this year DQ?”

The group heads towards the trail. Their boots crunch on the ice as they cross the pavement.

DQ calls back, “I'm hoping for some gigantic insects, maybe a rolypoly that fills up my hand or some ten centimeter ants.”

Craig asks, “Some ants?”

DQ grins, “Well thousants at least.”

Emily sighs, “You had to leave her open for that pun.”

Craig doesn't grin, “Yeah, I'm the straight man.”

DQ makes a wide flourish, “In this relationship honey, you most certainly are.”

Erich, Emily and Marina laugh while Craig grins.

The trail has entered the forest, covered in a detritus of tree droppings including leaves, acorns and sticks.

Here the oaks and maples continue their eternal combat to grab some sunlight. Further in the pines and cedars have definitely won that battle, but here the contest for second place is slow moving bough on bough jockeying.

Craig calls forward, “Also, we're visiting a data center, not Chernobyl. No mutant insects.”

DQ responds, “Heavy metals and lots of heavy metal pollution.”

Erich laughs, “Ah, so you're hoping for hair bigger than yours and lots of badly done make up?”

DQ turns back and winks, “Yeah! Don't know if I'll name them after Dee Snider or Nancy Wilson.”

Craig says, “Well, ants would all be female, so Nancy might represent better.”

DQ shrugs, “Depends on whether they look more like barracudas or rocks.”

Craig makes a show of breaking out an air guitar and giving a solo.

DQ smiles, “You may be the straight man, but you're all right.”

Craig finishes his solo, throwing the air guitar to the side of the trail and says thank you while taking a bow.

Erich mumbles about how mimes are the worst litter bugs.

The forest currently getting littered with non-existent guitar now consists of trees under their white winter blanket. The only signs of humans are the trail and those currently following it.

Craig spots a moth and asks DQ what species it is.

DQ breaks out a multi-corder, it's like a tri-corder, but she claims it operates across a wider, more joyous spectrum. She scans the moth.

DQ exclaims, “Oh, it's Cygnaeian Moth, the delicate wings developed through evolution in the gravity well of Cygnus X-1.

Emily adds, “In the lab we're studying how it extrudes the titanium struts for its wings.”

“Titanium struts?,” asks Craig.

Emily nods, “To support the delicate magnesium crystal wing structure under the gravity of the black hole.”

Marina looks from person to person, astonishment in her face wondering what she's witnessing.

DQ notices a deer, “Look, a phantom pierre from the foggy forests of Pflobotor.”

Emily asks, “Pflobotor? Should the P be silent?”

DQ laughs, “Of course not, the P should live its most pfabulous pself.”

“Pierre? Why is it a rock?,” asks Craig

DQ belts out, “I am a Rock, I am an Iiiisland.”

The deer spooks and bolts away from the loud, shiny human.

Erich wails, “Oh no! It was a trap! You've triggered Simon and Garfunkle, now we won't be able hear the Sounds of Silence.”

DQ turns up the trail and continues the song.

With her voice everyone is glad she didn't continue up the trail and turn up the song. Emily joins in with DQ.

Craig asks, “I thought we were only doing Canadian music?”

Narrator: “Only required to be 35% by law.”

Craig looks around, “Who are you? This story doesn't have a narrator!”

Narrator: “I'm only used for cheap effect.”

Craig: “And why do you sound like Ryan R-”

Narrator: “Uh uh! We can't afford that licensing and we don't have phone plans to sell.”

Craig can tell Narrator wagged a finger at him even though Narrator is not visible.

Craig: “What about his sometimes co-star Le Pierre?”

Narrator: “That's definitely outside our budget.”

Marina turns to Erich, “Who's he talking to?”

Erich says, “Don't know” while shaking his head. “I think it's a Scottish tradition, long soliloquys and conversations with unseen witches. There's a play nicknamed after the phenomenon.”

Marina asks, “He's Scottish?”

Erich nods, “His dad is, mom's Canadian, the family moved here when he was a kid.”

“And who is Pierre?”

Erich smirks, “Pierre is the french word for rock, DQ used it as an excuse to move us away from the moth. Well, and to sing some Simon and Garfunkle. Well, not sing, there's a reason DQ only mimes when she performs. And I'm so bad they won't even let me mime lest I forget and start singing along.”

Erich grins and hurries up the trail to catch up with the please-don't-sing-a-long. Marina follows.

A few moments later Craig starts back up the trail, still gesticulating in a conversation with someone who isn't there.

Emily sounds wonderful. The others are a little jealous, but mostly just enjoy listening to her sing. She's the real Simon and Garfunkle fan. In this instance DQ has merely been the willing muse.

The forest has turned more to lodgepole pines with needles and cones covering the ground under the snow.

The group marvels at the tall, straight trees as they walk among the giants. Cresting a hill they see a nursery where seedlings are re-establishing density after a couple old trees have fallen.

There's a squirrel on one of the fallen trees.

Erich asks DQ why there are earthly squirrels on this planet.

DQ says humans have found normal squirrels on every planet with an oxygen rich atmosphere.

No one is sure how, but there is some evidence that squirrels have a multi-dimension existence. Physicists haven't determined how the squirrels harness the energy necessary to overcome physics as we understand it. Some people speculate it's just because they don't know any better.

Are squirrels connected via deep root entanglement? Do they travel on some long wave form wider than humans have been able to detect? Both of those could explain why squirrels twitch and fritz when the make sudden rapid movements or just freeze in place.

::: note Squirrel Side Quest :::

Marina looks on mouth agape as her new friends discuss various theories of inter-dimensional squirrality.

A few minutes later Craig spots some buildings through the woods. They are separated from the park by a fence.

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